Music & Rituals


Whether it's a recognized tradition or a subconscious ritual, my family never fails to play our deceased loved one’s favorite music at their funeral services. My family is Protestant Christian and our funeral traditions are in line with the basics of our religion. Our funerals generally follow the same traditional routine, but despite aligning with the traditional religious practices for the events, the music of our funerals is rarely religious. I didn’t notice this factor was unique to my maternal family until I was older and began attending other families' funerals where the music primarily consisted of hymns. Our music for funerals usually consists of our loved one’s favorite songs or at least favorite artists. Since I am from the rural South, that usually consists of a lot of country music, despite how silly that sounds to say aloud. That’s not to say we play no Christian music at any funeral, just that the music reflects the music our loved one listened to in their lifetime, whatever that may be. No member of my family is particularly musically inclined or musicians by trade of any means, but many of my family members
love to strum a guitar. Playing songs around a fire is a staple of particularly my older relatives during any get-together. No member of my family loved his guitar more than my great-grandfather, especially when he was playing a Merle Haggard song. It was a no-brainer when my great-grandfather passed to fill his funeral with his favorite music. The most memorable song from his funeral is Someday When Things Are Good by Haggard.

Haggard was my great-grandfather’s favorite artist of all time, and he passed the love of him down to all of his children and grandchildren. Towards the end of the service, my great-uncle took the stage with his guitar in stride and played this song for us. Once he was finished, I saw for the first and only time a tear roll down his cheek, before he stood up and came back towards our pew. I remember hearing my great-grandfather sing and play this song as a little girl, long before arthritis took his guitar from him. We still play this song often, in memory of him, and many other country songs, some happy, some sad. Although I have never picked up the guitar myself, it will always remind me of my family and our relationship between family gatherings and music. 

Comments

  1. I love how music is so important in your family. My family isnt as invested in music as yours is but there are defiantly some songs that remind me of certain members. It is so cool that your family can be so connected through song.

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  2. Kyleigh, the way you write about your family traditions is really lovely. Sharing the music that our loved ones loved is a beautiful way to honor their lives and feel closer to them.

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